Why I wrote Black Clouds

Throughout my teenage years, I ran to the theatre to catch Love Jones, Two Can Play That Game, Love and Basketball, and The Woods any black love stories that might help me identify with what love meant to the world I lived in.  I wanted to see a reflection of who I might be in love, in relationship to these stories.  I couldn’t quite connect.  Often these stories were over-sensationalized, stereotypical of both men and women, filled with slap-stick comedy, and not similar to my problems with communication, expectations, handling complexity in relationships.  They were not a reflection of my reality and I wanted examples.  Serious black love stories, upon reflection, were virtually non-existent.  

When I went to college and studied the African Diaspora, divorced myself from perms, and devoured Toni Morrison, Octavia Butler, and Bell Hooks,  all while still immersed in white culture, I still could not see examples of love in the culture around me.  Books told the story of the overworked, lonely, often betrayed, and heroic woman, but never the story of love.  

If anything, my desire to see stories that reflected my experience with love became even more dissonant, except for the occasional movie like, “Hav Plenty” or “The Best Man”  where the characters were college-educated and the storylines mildly reflective.  I can see now clearly that I was still searching for complex stories that dove deep into what it meant to manage life and be in love for black people, i.e. me, to be in love.  Examples are guidance, a reflection of self.  I now think back and realize that I was searching for that guidance because “falling” in love was beginning to not make sense.   

Movies outside of my culture seemed to handle complex issues in layered situations.  They were rich in dialogue and took you into a world of three-dimensional characters, and I wanted this same complexity in black love stories.  

It’s funny that with the passage of time and public killings of black people and the rise of educated blacks in this country, black stories that delve deep into our psychology and socialization are finally happening!   Movies such as The Photograph and Malcolm and Marie are tackling our issues, how black characters process them, work through them and stay together.  

All this to say why I wrote Black Clouds.  This song was my response to the shallow and often one-dimensional stereotypes of blacks in TV and Film.  I wanted people to know the truth.  We are not as angry as we are made to seem; we have both suffered from being misrepresented; let’s get together, work through problems, reconcile and love each other in a healthy way.  I wanted this song to become a dance tune.  I wanted it to feel celebratory, a party song, music that celebrates the ultimate connectedness in working through being black and being in love!  We are deeply developed clouds, filled with so much, and all we have to do is outpour, talk, write, create, fight, hash it out, and there lies a beautiful bright future…